How Do I Find The Right Therapist?: Rapport and Why It Is Vital To Your Success In Therapy
Life, climbing and therapy. We might start on our own, keeping it simple but as we progress, we realize we need a climbing partner we can trust. Once we find the right fit, we learn so much about ourself and how capable we are.
When we decide it is time for therapy, we often think about the problems we want to solve, the modalities that are trending on Instagram and TikTok (hello EMDR and IFS), the approach that worked for a friend, and how much we are willing the pay for therapy. We also ask questions like “How do I find the right therapist?” or “Are there therapists for men?” or “Will therapy help me?”. These have importance and carry weight in our decision making process but the one factor that is often overlooked is also the most important in determining positive outcomes in therapy and that is RAPPORT.
Rapport, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is friendly, harmonious relationship characterized especially by agreement, mutual understanding, or empathy that makes communication possible or easy. Let’s break this definition apart to better understand how it plays a role in your success with your therapist.
A friendly, harmonious relationship might seem like a no-brainer but there can be a power dynamic and a power struggle with our therapeutic relationships. Although therapists are ethically obligated to prevent harm around this, we often feel that our therapist is the “expert” and we look to them for help, advice, and guidance. As therapists work to equal this imbalance, we move towards a therapeutic relationship that is more harmonious and friendly in nature and provides a safe space for healing.
Agreement in therapy does not mean easy, unchallenged, or unwavering validation. Agreement is a mutual understanding of the therapeutic goals and how the therapist and client will collaborate together in order to work towards these goals. Uncertainty can be present throughout this process but there is always open communication about what is working and what can be improved in order for the client to reach their goals.
Most therapy leads with empathy and creates consistent, predictable communication with the relationship. Sometimes there is no better teacher than leading by example. Through therapy, we learn how to show up authentically, express empathy, and communicate effectively.
With consistency and solid rapport, you too can work towards the change you are looking for while establishing the patterns in communication that can be transferred to the various relationships you have. As you search for the right therapist, take time to ask for a consultation call, get to know your therapist and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Taking time to find a therapist you connect with can be difficult but once you find what you’re looking forward, therapeutic success is within reach.
